We live with that sense of not being enough, and it causes a very painful state.

In the Buddhist tradition, where mindful meditation comes from, anger is regarded as a somewhat unhealthy,unskillful emotion because we can be blinded by it. We don't see clearly and tend to do things and say things that are harmful out of the anger because we don't have clarity.

I was an angry young man, as you say. I was a punk rocker, blaming the government, corporations, and anything external, like my family, for my anger. I was pretty miserable, festering in my own mind. I began to think, there has to be a different way, there has to be another way out.

There are plenty of times we need fierce compassion, fierce love. Just like when a child does something that is very harmful and we say "No!", we need some kind of fierceness. There's a certain kind of fierceness that can look like anger and has that fire of anger, but the difference is that it's not blinded with reactivity.

One of the tools I like a lot is the Just Like Me practice. It's one of the empathy practices where we put ourselves in the other's shoes. Rather than get caught up in the difference in the ideologies, we actually come back to the fundamental idea: just like me, this person on the opposite political spectrum wants to be happy, wants to be safe, wants to thrive, wants to be healthy, wants to find peace of mind.

I do believe there's a place for anger in spiritual life. Just as a mother protects a child, as parents protect offspring under threat, we need a place for the conscious use of that fire. The positive side of anger as fierceness.

Mindfulness is the primary tool in that we get a little space between ourselves and the thoughts and then we actually can be more responsive, as in: Do I want to listen to that? Do I want to ignore it? Do I want to say "no thank you". Do I want to inquire if that's really true or helpful? So we start with mindfulness and we're not engaging, because as soon as we do that, we've given the critic authority. Instead, we want to notice the critic but not give it any attention, not really give it much value.