We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one; These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.

Everything human is pathetic

Life is short, break the rules.