Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.