Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does".

The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.

Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.