A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.

isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.

I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds of America. They observed that we talked loudly at table sometimes. They noticed that we looked out for expenses and got what we conveniently could out of a franc, and wondered where in the mischief we came from. In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

Sometimes people do get hurt

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?