I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to make promises that the organ which should enable me to keep them was crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary capacity.
Mark TwainAlways obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.
Mark TwainWill a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at themโand by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weaponโlaughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution--these can lift at a colossal humbug,โpush it a littleโ crowd it a littleโweaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand. - "The Chronicle of Young Satan," Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts
Mark Twain