What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.