When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.

For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.