In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think?

Dance like nobody's looking.

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'

I am technically "boss" of the family which I am carrying along-but I am grateful to know that it is only technically - that the real authority rests on the other side of the house. It is placed there by a beneficent Providence, who foresaw before I was born, or, if he did not, he has found it out since - that I am not in any way qualified to travel alone.