It's a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog.

Every man is a moon; he has a side no one sees.

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. From the code of morals I have been following and revising and revising for 72 years I remember one detail. All my life I have been honest - comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly - I could only lend it.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.