It's a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.

Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another. In our day, he is always some man's slave for wages, and does that man's work; and this slave has other slaves under him for minor wages, and they do his work. The higher animals are the only ones who exclusively do their own work and provide their own living.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain.

The best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it.

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.