Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.

Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.

Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.

No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.