Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

I should have been glad to acquire some sort of idea of Hindu theology, ... but the difficulties were too great.

You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.