I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.

To go abroad has something of the same sense that death brings. I am no longer of ye-what ye say of me is now of no consequence.

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.

Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.