Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.

There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.

I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference; it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.

A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.