It is easier to stay out than get out.

All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.

The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.