I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.

the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

You must not pay a person a compliment, and then straightway follow it with a criticism.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.