A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

The most successful people are those who do all year long what they would otherwise do on their summer vacation.

A Christian's first duty is to God. It then follows, as a matter of course, that it is his duty to carry his Christian code to the polls and vote them... If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease... it would bring about a moral revolution that would be incalculably beneficent. It would save the country.

I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.