He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.

So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.

Pessimist: The optimist who didn't arrive.

Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.

Well - Patriotism has its laws. And it also is a perfectly definite one, there are not vaguenesses about it. It commands that the brother over the border shall be sharply watched and brought to book every time he does us a hurt or offends us with an insult.

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.