He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.

Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.

Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.