Pessimist: The optimist who didn't arrive.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.

What is it that strikes a spark of humor from a man? It is the effort to throw off, to fight back the burden of grief that is laid on each one of us. In youth we don't feel it, but as we grow to manhood we find the burden on our shoulders. Humor? It is nature's effort to harmonize conditions. The further the pendulum swings out over woe the further it is bound to swing back over mirth.