What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.

Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142.

We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact; the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge