College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.

...fry me an optimist for breakfast.

Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.

It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing-and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite - that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here.