The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.

Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard.

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.