To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing.

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

The heart is the real fountain of youth.