When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.

But we are all insane, anyway. Note the mountain-climbers.

Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness