An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself. There is no feeling of brotherhood among these people. Indeed, they always resent it when I call them brother. To show how far their ungenerosity can carry them, I will state that I offered to let Prof. H--y publish my great theory as his own discovery; I even begged him to do it; I even proposed to print it myself as his theory. Instead of thanking me, he said that if I tried to fasten that theory on him he would sue me for slander.