The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.

As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.

We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.

I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same.