There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.

There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned