Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

It were not best that we should all think alike.

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have had him begin at the other end, and start human beings with old age. How much better to start old and have all the bitterness and blindness of age in the beginning!