In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.

Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light and leading by contrast.

The future interests me - I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.