When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

You cannot have a theory without principles. Principles is another name for prejudices.

Kindness is a language herd by deaf men and felt by blind men.

In all the ages the Roman Church has owned slaves, bought and sold slaves, authorized and encouraged her children to trade in them. . . . There were the texts; there was no mistaking their meaning; . . . she was doing in all this thing what the Bible had mapped out for her to do. So unassailable was her position that in all the centuries she had no word to say against human slavery.

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.