That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.

I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind hearted, fat, benevolent people do.

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

If it would not look too much like showing off, I would tell the reader where New Zealand is.

Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To save his life he could not have kept two of these young creatures satisfactorily refreshed, even if he had fifteen experts to help him. Necessarily almost the entire thousand had to go hungry for years and years on a stretch. Conceive of a man hardhearted enough to look daily upon all that suffering and not be moved to mitigate it.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.