I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. It is said that leaders are readers. However if they read trashy magazines for the majority of their time and they never run with the information that they glean from resourceful books, then they may as well have not taken any time to read at all. It is easier to stay out than get out.

Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.