I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Switzerland would me a mighty big place if it were ironed flat.