There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.