Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.

I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.