Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.

Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.

All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it.

Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.

I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.