When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.

What a lie it is to call this a free country, where none but the unworthy and undeserving may swear.

Every time I reform in one direction I go overboard in another.

A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war, it is permitted to none below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the general in the field.

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. "Give them to others"-that's my motto.

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.