Learning to play two pairs is worth about as much as a college education, and about as costly.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.

The observance of Thanksgiving Day-as a function-has become general of late years. The Thankfulness is not so general. This is natural. Two-thirds of the nation have always had hard luck and a hard time during the year, and this has a calming effect upon their enthusiasm.

The machine has several virtues... One may lean back in his chair and work it. It piles an awful stack of words on one page. It don't muss things or scatter ink blots around.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.