It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.

Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.