Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.

It didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes at all, but just low-down humbugs and frauds. But I never said nothing, never let on; kept it to myself; it's the best way; then you don't have no quarrels, and don't get into no trouble. If they wanted us to call them kings and dukes, I hadn't no objections, 'long as it would keep peace in the family; and it warn't no use to tell Jim, so I didn't tell him. If I never learnt nothing else out of pap, I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them have their own way.

It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.

We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.