Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

I don't want no better book than what your face is.

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it is a good thing!

It is noble to teach oneself; it is still nobler to teach others.

I am not an American. I am the American.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.