What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.

Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.

The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.