I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.

It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.

Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?