Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

To be busy is man's only happiness.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.