The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.

Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.