The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.