To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is finer.

In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Crowds stand around all day long and criticise that bridge, and find fault with it, and tell with unlimited frankness how it ought to have been planned, and how they would have built it had the city granted them the $14,000 it cost. It is really refreshing to hang around these and listen to them. A foreigner would come to the conclusion that all America was composed of inspired professional bridge builders.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.