I have learned that there lies dormant in the souls of all men a penchant for some particular musical instrument an an unsuspected yearning to play on it, which are bound to wake up an demand attention someday. Therefore you who rail at such that disturb your slumbers with unsuccessful and demoralizing attempts to subjugate a guitar, beware! For sooner or later your own time will come.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.

Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.

Some of the worst things in my life never even happened.

Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.