There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.