There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.

The timid man yearns for full value and demands a tenth. The bold man strikes for double value and compromises on par.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Who discovered that there was no such thing as a witch - the priest, the parson? No, these never discover anything.

An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.