There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted.

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.

None but the dead are permitted to tell the truth.

If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.