You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians

It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.