No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

To say a compliment well is a high art and few possess it.

I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair.

In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.