Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.
You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.