If books are not good company, where shall I find it?

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.

If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.

There is only one good sex. The female one.

The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself.