Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.

It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.

I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wet-nurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.