Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.